June 22 2011

BACKSTORY

Back in 1995 when the una-ex and I separated, I lived in The Conversion Van Of Wonders for a fair bit of time. Thing was, I didn't want to get an apartment lease, nor spend a lot on hotel rooms.

I had hoped we could reconcile.

So much for hope.

Anyhow...I am driving through the middle of Pennsylvania in the middle of the night when the cruise control stops working. The last thing I needed was downtime for a repair. So I stroked the dashboard and told "her" that I had no time to stop for a fixin' and "she" needed to get the cruise back up and running.

It ran until about 2 years ago. This vehicle loved me when no other thing, aside from my kids, would. I told "her" and anyone who would listen I would NEVER sell her and I wanted to be buried in her when my time came to ascend to my condo with a view and Triple Play FiOS. My sons knew these instructions well as did "she".

CURRENT EVENTS

Yesterday I went to look at an full blown RV that was this same model, only a 1989 version. That year the vehicle was a fair bit longer. Inside was a shower, kitchen, bathroom, etc. EVERYTHING I need for a "home"!

Total of 45K on the vehicle and 20K on a new engine.

I really want this thing. And as I was expressing that to it's current owner I noted that I would want to cannibalize some parts of "her" for a slightly older "her". And honestly, when I said this I do so in a whisper. I really didn't want to be.....overheard.

He and I left it with me saying I would try to fund-raise and would get back to him. My mistake was saying ONE thing in a normal voice:

"I want my front grill on this other one. It have pics of it on my first blog"

When I went to start "her" up, the process seemed a little labored. I chalked it up to the battery needing to be charged. "She" has what is called a "Parasitic Draw", meaning something drains the battery constantly and if the engine is not run regularly, the battery goes dead. This is a new Deep Cell and it had to be jump started that morning.

Little did I know......

I arrive at Camp Scooter SouthEast and settle in for a bit. My habit is to pull in up to where I will unload the generator and then get into my usual spot. This part went o.k.

However, I decided I want to be a bit further back from the generator and went to start the car. Turned the key and....

nothing

Tried again.....

nothing

Once more....

nothing

The Starter is kaput. I am dead in the water. No el move-o.

I pissed "her" off!

"She" at least let me get into the Camp and then said....ummmm....

"You can kiss my bumper!"

Now your humble narrator is without transport and stuck in Camp Scooter SouthEast until I can get a transplant for my dear "girl".

Moral to this tale is.....

"A female is a female no matter the form, and always beware, a woman scorned!"

I just made that up! HA!

Until next time....