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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Awww Crap!

Just before Santa was to visit Afscootistan (A.H.A.), here in The Conversion Van Of Wonders, THIS happened down South America way!
So much for the new Throne I was supposed to get.

Anyhow, Merry Christmas to ya'll!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

These Are Woeful Times, Indeed, For Afscootistan (All Hail, Afscootistan)

Dark days, for sure!

August of 2011, the National Treasures were pillaged and looted and the womenfolk abducted. (Well, ok...none here to abduct but if there were, they'd be a missin')

One who was slated to be among the First Ministers, as well as, help draft The Constitution has gone on to nation building in the sky.

And lastly, the one person running for your Presidency that I had hoped to be The One to first recognize Afscootistan's (A.H.A.) sovereignty and cut the ribbon for the opening of our embassy, has left the race and "suspended" his White House aspirations.

(I was REALLY looking forward that state dinner and pizza EVER!!!! I send my nation's best wishes for all things future to Mr. and Mrs. Herman Cain.)

The financial system is headed to ruins, before it even begins. I figured the only way to begin to turn things around would be via establishment of the first towns in my nation. Oddly enough, I found one of my inspirations in the goings on in Pakistan.

Seems them there Pakistanis are none too happy with the U.S.of A. and are burning puppet facsimiles of President Barry Huseamus O'Bama in their streets.

The second comes from the National Day of Remembrance for the Attack On Pearl Harbor, this very month, and the words of F.D.R. as he took to the airwaves to address your national following this assault on American soil.

My two new towns are named:

Infamy and Effigy, Afscootistan. (A.H.A.)

See, if you want to live in Infamy, I can create all kinda permits, fees, taxes, etc. to drum up much needed cash! I would also have The Ministry Of Catch Phrases create a "Fair Use Fee" you would need to obtain so you can proclaim:

"Hey, I live in Infamy"

That will be ^2,500.00 Scootos (The national currency name: The Scooto)

Now for the legions of malcontents who insist on setting ablaze badly done, hardly recognizable straw men of internationally famous people and World Leaders, the KA'CHING really gets popping!

They want to burn something in Effigy...well...the permits to allow for smoke billowing in the air alone would buy a fully loaded 2012 Hyundai Genesis CASH for your Dear Leader, Moi!

Then of course you have the myriad of different certificates to be able to move in, and sewer/water fees. Add a couple of stickers needed for your back yard BBQ Grill (charcoal is an extra "surcharge" because it's not as clean as propane), licenses to smoke, use salt, eat meat, and enjoy the wonder that is trans fat in food....

Well...the national coffers would be bulging!

Brilliant, no?

Then, due to the misery index exploding like a Chevy Volt Battery, from the fiscal pain of paying such high fees to the state, the first Semi-Private, State Monitored And Regulated Industry is born.

Behold Afscootabooze!

Yeppers, grey skies are gonna clear up....