5/29/11

New Products:

Today I was wandering around The Home Of Falling Prices just passing some time prior to a purchase. Ordinarily I ignore the flat panel monitors trumpeting some new product or idea , finding that sometimes commercials simply need to stop. However there are a couple of notable exceptions and one new one.

Once they were pimping some vitamin supplement by using cartoon fish. And, no, it wasn't Omega3, but I don't recall exactly what it was. Thing is, the fish all wore glasses, thus did not bode well for your vision if you ingest said product.

Janet Napolitano, head of Homeland Security, who has all the dynamic personality of
lint, was CONSTANTLY on these monitors telling us to rat on anyone we thought was "suspicious". Her message resulted in Walmarts being locked down for guys on cell phones talking loudly.

This from the folks who encourage #TSA agents to grope our genitalia looking for bombs in our underoos as we attempt to fly somewhere.

SIDETRACK: Speaking of underwear "bombs", you Twitter users follow this hashtag:

#Weinergate

Yer' gonna love it.

Ok...so now a NEW AND IMPROVED product gets pimped via these monitors. Something that has provided security for you gals for ever, keeping you "confident and fresh" during your ride on the cotton pony.

Designer Maxipads! In all the colors of the Rainbow!

I mean, is this necessary? Who's gonna see it and know you are the most fashionable menstruater in your neighborhood? When that monthly tsunami makes it's way into your life, do you really need to know you have a pad full-O-daisies keeping things in place?

And the color combinations....

If you get a pad with green as the color scheme, once utilized the blend of hues now makes the pad.....brown! Ok...it is well known that chocolate is favored amongst you gals during "that time"..so maybe that color surprise might be welcome to see.

If you like to plan ahead, here's a link where you can research what colors you get when blended with Red HERE. You can match things to holidays, seasons, etc.

There are items worn under clothing, or in spite of, that are hot and attractive. Certain kinds of panties and bras...thigh highs...4" pumps.

(If your guy is an oprahmale then you need stilettos , fishnets, and a whip.)

But I think I speak for most Men when I say, technicolor feminine hygiene products are not a really beguiling idea to us. oprahmales excluded.

Hey..it's your money and cycle...who am I to judge. Maybe next you can get pads with the face of people you despise on'em. Like The Governator Special or some french I.M.F. manager who has "issues" with the hired help.

The possibilities are endless. Period!

5/28/11

Never forget them!!! And keep the loved ones left behind in your hearts and minds.

May 18th, 2011

Newest Stuff With Your Humble Narrator:

I was given the T-Shirt above by a guy who happened in to the parking lot with an R.V. adorned with magnetic signs that offered the same message as above. He was from Ohio in a rented motorhome and 5 kids...ages 3 weeks to around 10...in tow. Sold or gave away everything he owned and is convinced May 21st is it!

The T-Shirt is supposed to be a medium, but it is a VERY tight fit. I guess the manufacturer wasn't worried about getting returns.

We'll see. I hope I am somehow in the good graces of God should this come to pass on Saturday. I wish I could have been as certain about it as that guy. I mean, it does give me pause, and who am I to be a naysayer.

Had I known for sure, I would have avoided the Armageddon that is my mouth today! Yesterday I had a crown put on over a raw feeling tooth, 2 root canals... which revealed one tooth could not be saved, thus an extraction. OUCH!

I am told and have read that only God knows the day and hour of Jesus' return. Even The Son of God doesn't know. It's going to be, like, He's in the middle of a round of "Angry Birds" and then:

God: Hey Son, you all packed and stuff? Time to go...

And what about the remaining Season Finales???

He would be here to see "Thor" during it's theatrical run. That's a plus, I suppose.

Anyhow.....

Have done a couple of more treks to move stuff my friend bought on eBay, including a round trip to Virginia Beach. Will write about that this weekend. Right now I am struggling to be able to eat without crying like a little girl.

Ok...not that bad, but the pain is distracting.

May 7th 2011..But Posted On The 8th

Stuff On My Mind

I hate that I have to wear bi-focals. I hate even more that they work and make a big difference. In a simpler, more innocent time they were referred to as:

Unsure-focals
Curious/Exploring-focals
ThatOneTimeAtCollege-focalettes

But now simply bi-focals.

Makes me feel all old and stuff.

@FringeonFox #FRINGE

Ok..the whole point of the two universes colliding was Walter bringing other world Peter here to save his life....yes? So now that Peter "...never existed.." according to The Observers...why are the 2 universes colliding anyway?

My head hurts! But I LOVE the show! Can't wait for next season.

"GLEEK" Moment:

Akkk...my dreams of being cast on "Glee" as the singing homeless guy got dashed now that one of the main 'tweener heartthrob's family lost their home and live in a motel. AND to add insult to injury, he has two single digit aged siblings all in the same room!

Will my life ever improve...HEY WAIT...

I could be cast as Sam's Dad...yeah...and sing my way back into prosperity and a new house.! @Ryan_Murphy ...you reading this?

How about that Usama Bin Laden! I wonder if his friends who used to call him Buddy, now refer to him as Chum? (Deep Sea Fishing Reference)

Weather here put everyone in a good mood. Saw people singing, LOTS of kids and sunshine. Of course, your humble narrator has his very own Depress-O-Matic and that kicked in from time to time, but I pushed it back.

Ran into the fellow I mentioned in my prior blog regards Thanksgiving '10 and Thanks for help posts. He happened along with his young daughter who wanted to meet yours truly. Sweet young thing, she bought some chicks from a local store to donate to a nearby farm. They had just returned for visiting said farm when we happened upon one another.

She and I shared our affinity for marshmallows and I offered some of mine, bought at The Home Of Falling Price after Easter for 75% off!

Way cool! I stocked up!

Well here's the thing....

When visiting said farm to see the chicks all growed up, she was challenged with trying to catch a few. Someone there told her, it could not be done.

She snagged 15 of'em and the chickens, once snatched, didn't protest her holding them.

GOOD girl!

So...she had to save the mallowey treats for later until she could wash her hands. She didn't want to get stuck with "chickenosis"

(You'll get it in a few...)

I told her about a guy who made a living catching chickens and went on to win "America's Got Talent". (My regrets regards the video quality)



Anyhow...she is a sweet little thing and certainly brightened my day!

That's all for now.

April 29th

What's Been Happening To Moi:

Over the last 10 days or so, I have had 2 tooth extractions, a close call root canal, a post and crown installed and a cap placed.

Thing is, with one of the extractions the dentist found a very small cyst, which is nothing more than a tumor that refuses to apply itself. All went well and yours truly is recovering nicely.

Something I have noticed lately is a LOT of cars from our neighbors to the north. And I am not sure I like it. Here's why:

They do tend to be a surly bunch. Back in the day, when I was still running under DOS and on IRC (internet relay chat):

SIDETRACK EXPLANATION: IRC was a way of chatting with others via the net. You would find an IRC server, log on, and type /join #WHATEVERROOM and poof...there you were. IRC is still very much alive and running today. I just don't use it much anymore.

Anyhow, I would be in a chat room and notice some rather crabby, bordering cantankerous, types complaining about something, or being insulting. On IRC you can do what is know as a "/whois nickname" and see where said participant is from. And 99 times out of 100, it was above the northern border.

I mean who in their right, collective mind would pronounce Sault as Sue???

Must the french blood in them.

Not to say that all of them up there have no sense of humor. Kindly view the following clip from "Canadian Idol".



GLEEK SIDETRACK: Back when I had Triple Play Cable and much faster internet speed, I would download Canadian and Australian Idol. I watched one and a half seasons of the former, one season of the latter. I wish HuLu could show full episodes of Idol so I could stay current but, alas, one of the pitfalls of being address-less.


See, what very few people know is the real reason Canadians are crabby. The have to conduct most of their commerce using ...are you ready...PELTS! That's right, the skins of fuzzy creatures. They don't have a Currency, they have a Furrency!

Sure, when we travel there and buy something, the natives around us pretend to use a Visa Card or cash. But once you and I leave the store, out comes Rocky Raccoon or Br'er Fox so they can get stuff.

Now they have done this for decades, but because Obama and his uber bud George Soros have wrecked the global economy, what used to cost 2 rabbits and a squirrel, now runs 3 rabbits and a moose.

All those extra skins make their garments all bulky, uncomfortable, and itchy to wear. So no wonder they are crabbier than ever.

The dirty secret is, this year they found a way to get even!!!

Ever wonder why this winter seemed to last so long and was so harsh?

At night, all the lights at the border would be turned off and millions of the maple luvin' citizens would shoo moose away from blocking their driveways then head south. At the border they would have large pieces of cardboard and flap them, sending that icy, arctic Canadian air our way!

See what happens when the USA doesn't protect it's borders? Well, do ya'????

They would laugh at us when they pirate FOX NEWS and see all the misery and expense a prolonged winter costs us Americans!

Hey, I like Maple Flavored Treats as much as the next guy! My girl for my curls, Darlene and her daughter discovered I LOVE Maple Creme Sandwich Cookies, and buy me four boxes at a time!

SIDETRACK REDUX:

When driving through Pennsylvania last weekend , I happened upon a small chain of doughnut shops called "The Maple Doughnut". Great, I thought to myself and pulled into one.

I have to say the coffee was the best I have tasted in quite sometime! Not since the BEST EVER cup I had in Wilkes-Barre's "Daily Doughnut" shop in 1995, has one gotten my attention like this one did.

Anyhow, I am perusing the selections, pointing to the really enticing ones, only to be told those are peanut butter flavored. The frosting was same color as the maple ones. The only maple ones were plain frosted or nut laden frosted.

They need to change the chain's name!

However the REAL maple ones were very tasty! But I digress....

So the next time you see a Canadian license plate pass you on the highway, look over to it and say:

"Hey, thanks loads Dudley for all the damn snow and bitter cold!"

That'll show'em!

Until next time....
EDITED TO ADD: Damn them...it continues!

4/24/11

What I Did Yesterday:

I got a one day gig driving through Pennsylvania for a friend picking up a couple of eBay purchases he had made. Being on the road like made me feel anxious to finally getting my travel plans underway.

Things I Noticed:

I saw more Vanity License Plates than anywhere else to date. Thing is, Pa. only requires a rear plate, so folks who see said cars in their rear view mirrors never see the mundane, cryptic, sometimes clever personal statements as provided by hard working prison inmate artisans.

Cigs are cheaper but gas costs more.

Rediscovered how much I love an open sky viewed from a green landscape, versus open sky from a parking lot. The weather was awful on the way to York City, but then cleared magnificently, just in time for Easter.

SIDETRACK: Speaking of God, I want y'all to know I do ask Him for His attention to other matters besides my relocation. I try to end my day nightly with a conversation, seeking the following:

Safety and peace for my sons.

Good things and blessings for:
The significant acquaintance
The una-ex
My personal devil
My sisters
And their families.

Those who fight in whatever way for this nation:

Our Troops

The pundits:
Glenn Beck
Rush Limbaugh
Mark Levin
Sean Hannity
Neal Boortz
etc.

For Obama and his family, and that he will finally "get it and understand it" and stop ruining this nation.

And finally for myself.
That I am safe.
That I am shown what my purpose is.
And in lieu of that, bring me home.

Amen

SIDETRACK REDUX:

God Part 2

A couple of weeks ago I attended services at The Budd Lake Chapel. The Pastor there is a High School alumni of yours truly and had come up to see me a while back to offer me some support.

Now, thing is, when he came here, I didn't recognize him. He would ask me stuff, and then start to giggle to himself softly. Making me, your humble observer, curious.

Finally he revealed who he was. Seems he had been to my late wife's funeral and that going way back, he and I both attended the same church, Bethlehem Church in Randolph, New Jersey.

Pastor Alan Pirrello.

I promised him I would attend services. I found him to be a dynamic, take no prisoners, approach to The Gospels and his flock to be among the nicest and happiest I have ever encountered. I look forward to returning some day.

Now this is what was unique for moi:

He was delivering his sermon utilizing a Power Point presentation that would display chapter and verse location for reference. Now I am no Biblical Scholar, and at best know The Psalms are in The Old Testament.

This is what happened.

As I needed to go to a different book, I know automatically where to find it. I would, at first shot, come within a chapter or page of where I needed to be.

I was guided. How about that!

While driving through Pa. yesterday I happened upon a local talk show station in Reading and called in. The host posed the question:

Of what political bent today, does anyone think Jesus would lean to.

I called in and said Libertarian/Tea Party. The premise God made when He created us was of Free Will.

Then I pimped my blog.

The host then asked me a great question, no one had asked me before.

Is my current state due to factors outside myself, or my own blunders.

Excellent question!

I said both. There were forces I had to struggle against, and over the course of time I made some boneheaded choices.

What This Past week Was Like:

Nothing really notable. I did have a Deputy-ette pull up by The Conversion Van Of Wonders and type something into the laptop in her car. I wondered if she was going to ask me to get out and go all T.S.A. on me, which would make me feel like we were on our 3rd date.

She lowered the laptop and drove off. I did see her in either an unmarked or personal car drive past me hours later

The allure and sheer magnetism that is yours truly.

#Winning

Happy Easter to you all and God Bless.

April 17th, 2011

What I thought About Today:

Head was spinning for quite some time about all manner of things. I am seeing my spelling/typing suffer a bit and wonder why. I am taking the meds assigned me as prescribed. Guess my years are catching up.....or maybe I am just stagnating.

Who knows?

I am also, for the first time in decades, considering quitting smoking. Some of you may ask...

"Hey Pundit Nomadic Guy, are you hoping for your demise? You fast and pray to God for that and all. What gives?"

The way I see it, God doesn't need my help for much of anything. I mean, should He ask of course I would pitch in, but He can pretty much do what he wants. Thus, my smoking or not smoking will have little effect for whatever He decides to do.

I think I will buy one last pack of Camel Regulars (non-filter). BEST ciggie in the world, smoked by many notable.....dead..but still notable types. I will select the one that will be my LAST One, and post a pic of it. Maybe even video its use.

We'll see.

What I Did Today:

I cleaned out and reloaded my other electric cooler. These Coleman pieces are amazing! They can so cold they can actually produce ice. However, the Coke cans inside this one are not so sturdy against freezing temps I experienced this past winter. Some of'em popped.

Cleaned out, and added boxes of Baking Soda to each one.

Had "Great Value (WalMart Generic Brand) Frozen Lasagna" for.....

What would you call it? The time I ate fell between lunch and dinner. Maybe Linner or Dunch?

I generally eat once a day. Rarely twice. It's a lot of effort in The Conversion Van Of Wonders, moving this and that to make room to do that and this.

Some days just not worth the effort.

Not much else to write. I am trying to make myself post on a regular basis. The flow should start soon and these be more interesting.

Laterz...